A little humor with Leeuna

Genuine Leather Shoes Usually I'm a very nonviolent, peace-loving person yet I have this habit of fighting with my car.It's an older model Jeep Grand Cherokee that was previously owned. Previously owned being the term car salesmen use meaning worn out, used up and with more miles on it than the Apollo Spacecraft. Actually I bought a bumper sticker that reads: "Honk if Something Falls off."I'm not exactly sure what kind of engine the car has, but I think it's called a "Check". That's what it says on the dashboard's instrument panel anyway "Check Engine". I'm not familiar with that type of engine, but it gets better gas mileage than a Sherman Tank, so I'm assuming Check is a fairly decent brand of engine.There is a huge gaping hole in the dashboard that a radio once occupied. Somebody stole the radio before I bought the car. This empty space is useful though. I can put my purse in there and it keeps it from sliding off the seat and possibly falling through one of the huge holes in the floorboard. One thing I like about the car is the bucket seats. I do wish there was a way of welding a back onto a bucket though. It would make the seat a little less likely to turn over when I go around a curve too fast. I always use my seat belts. They help hold me up until I can grab the bucket and turn it upright once more. And the seat belts are genuine leather. We bought them at the flea market from a leather crafter. We decided on the brown ones to match the rust spots on the outside of the car.And with the absence of a back seat I can take my dogs with me and they have a huge area in which to romp and play while I'm driving. Although they sometimes fight over which one gets to sit on the passenger-side bucket.About a month ago the car stopped starting. Something was draining the battery. I figured it must be the headlights that kept running the battery down so I disconnected them. Now like Cinderella I must always go home before dark. Otherwise the car might turn into a pedestrian, or into another car or a utility pole.I know it's way past the time to buy another car but somehow I have become attached to this one. I have been looking at new cars lately. I noticed something odd too. It seems that the more a car cost, the uglier it is. Actually it's the same way with just about everything, even shoes and purses. If an item is preceded by the word "designer" and is so hideous it looks like something from a Steven King novel, then you can bet your next paycheck it probably cost more than the state of Hawaii.Which brings up another point. It used to be an insult when someone told a woman she looked cheap. Now we should consider it a compliment.I hate to part with my old car. We've been together for a long time and we've developed a warm and friendly relationship. We understand each other. We respect each other, even though we do argue sometimes. I usually take the car's insults in stride but today it did something that made me really angry. I started the engine and when the instrument panel lit up, there in big red-lighted letters was the word "Air Bag".Now that was simply uncalled for. Who does this car think it is, calling me an air bag! I'm really thinking seriously about trading the car for a newer one now, and I told it as much. Right after I slapped both of it's headlights into one and called it a "worthless pile of scrap metal".The rusted piece of junk. Fatso! Four doors!